Dear Pam, I am not sure if you will hear or see this message on this side of eternity. My words of love and appreciation seem so insufficient to convey how I feel. You and Brad spoke the words of Life into my heart so many times. You prayed with me and guided me through big life-changing decisions. And you modeled for me what it was to love unconditionally. I still see you and Brad sitting next to each other, praying together each morning on my way to work. I still hear your words telling me Keke would never fill my deepest need nor I his, and that in our marriage we were given the chance to learn to find our fullness and completeness in Christ. I can’t tell you how many times our conversations have played over and over in my thoughts, pushing me to let go of what I think or I want and leading me to the Cross. Deciding to give when everything in me says to hold back, to love when all I feel is hurt. And every time what you said to me is true: God’s grace is sufficient and His love is stronger than anything. This is always your example: love as Jesus loved. Hope in Him.
You once gave me a small plaque that said hope. I still have it and it reminds me of you and all I learned from you and from Brad. I still remember Brad explaining how much the Father loved me that He chose me before time began and knew my name and that each time I had communion it was a reminder of the lengths Christ would go to in order to rescue me and bring me home. I will never forget how God used you both to draw me close to Him, to show me love, to give me hope. Today I am glad we share this Hope. I know that even if I don’t get to tell you all this in person, you somehow already know. And we will share an eternity together in His presence. Thank you for loving me and sharing your home and your heart with me. I treasure it. And I want to tell you even though time and distance separates us, I love you.
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Thanks Debbie
Wednesday morning ended a journey with cancer for my youngest sister, Pam.
I left home and married when Pam was 12. We really weren’t close until 5 years later when Heath was born and Jim and I had our second child, Andrew. Besides our kids, we had a love for God and the Bible.
Our growing up years were dysfunctional, with intermittent fractured relationships. We decided to make a covenant with each other, come what may, we were going to maintain relationship and glorify God.
Over 52 years later, our families have remained close and so did our love for God.
Pam was instrumental in praying me through nursing school with 3 children. Our families have lived with each other, played and prayed together and our kids grew up almost like siblings instead of cousins.
Pam was my best friend. We understood each other and accepted and loved through the good, bad, and ugly.
We both loved the Word of God and read together and encouraged one another.
When she found out last April that the cancer had returned, she believed the Lord told her that this was her time to prepare to die.
Throughout this past year she has touched so many lives as she would be the one sending notes and praying for people. One of her precious friends had a sister dying of cancer and I watched as Pam hugged and loved on her before and after her sister passed.
Pam wanted to die at home and did not want to suffer horrendous pain. The family committed to make that happen. Jim & I went in November to spend a few weeks & ended up staying 3 months because she got so bad. We were able to laugh, cry, and be silly. Days of eating meals in the bedroom like the Willy Wonka family. As Brad sought to fulfill her slightest wish for food or outings with her oxygen and she would joke “What’s it going to do? Kill me?” With Hospice we were able to manage her pain and honor her other wish to die at home. Wednesday morning with worship music playing and Brad, Heath Jim & I at her bedside, we had the honor of seeing Pam pass into the arms of her Savior.
As we sat together after she passed, I felt the need to send one last text to her phone:
Sister your memory is a keepsake from which I’ll never part, God has you in His keeping and I have you in my heart. Now you can truly Glorify God and enjoy Him forever…I love you Sherry