This morning I was in my home church, with my own church family and being exhorted by my own pastor for the first time in several weeks. Once again, a new first (ATK 11); the first time I’ve returned from a trip and attended church without Pam.
Unlike some of the other firsts, this one was not at all uncomfortable. Seeing friends, who are like family, and worshipping together was grand.
The writer of the book of Hebrews, in describing Abel, comments (and I paraphrase) though dead, he still speaks. I was reminded of this verse today. For, although Pam is dead, still she speaks. I believe the object of the writer’s verse concerning Abel is that his faith still speaks to us today.
The actual phrase may seem a peculiar turn of words to describe my late wife, but it occurs to me that today I benefited from Pam’s faith. For it was her faith that moved her into the lives of so many people.
Thus, every hug, every kind word, smile and warm embrace I received today was, in some measure, influenced, if not born out of the love shown to our friends by Pam. They were affected by her love, her sacrifice and her placing others ahead of herself for so many years.
We have long chuckled that I am the cold prickly one, content to move in and out of a crowd, my office or even my church with a nod and a quick hello. It was Pam who would say, “just a minute Babe, I’ve had this person on my heart and need to say hi.” And also, “hold on, Brad, I’ve been praying for this person and need to see how they’re doing, OK?”
Pam was very invested in the lives of others and it showed. It still shows and I am the benefactor of the love that she sowed into the lives of others.
Thus I say, with tearful eyes, though she is dead, still she speaks and through her speaking, I am forever changed.
Today I was in no hurry. Today I spoke to someone I didn’t know and I lingered for a few extra hellos and a few extra hugs from a few extra friends. All of these extras are but another way that my life has been enriched and deepened by the love that Pam so freely shared with so many. Perhaps you were one of them.
Brad