This is the 28th love letter that I have written since you’ve passed and it is the first that I have actually addressed to you. That is because, well, I don’t think these are actually sent to you, they are more for me and those that are left behind mourning in our love for you.
My faithful Pam,
Today is an exception, I’m addressing this to you because the nature of the letter is very personal. It is personal because it addresses two emotions that were very near to your heart.
The first involves the nursery of Harper Rae, your soon to be born great granddaughter, whom you knew would be born “shortly” after you passed. I say “knew” not because you had knowledge of Avery’s pregnancy, she wasn’t pregnant. I say “knew” because of that innate sixth sense in you that I both loved and despised, by which you had a confidence that this time was near and your heart pined to live long enough to see it.
Last night, after the kids showed me her nursery, I returned alone just to drink it in. There was so much of you present in the room.
Not just in the feminine decor, nor the festive frivolity of the decorating motif, I saw your bunny, the one made from a favorite dress. I saw the wicker purse, some of your favorite children’s books and the name embroidered clothes, a now popular habit, but not so much so when you started the habit with Harper’s daddy. You took the habit to the superlative when you bought a commercial embroidery machine and virtually put the name of your granddaughters upon everything.
Harrison and I brought many decorations back from Atelier Choux in Paris that would have definitely met with your approval. They set the theme for the room.
The second reason that I write is to again assure you that your greatest fear will not come to pass.
Your single fear at the close of your life seemed to be the fear of being forgotten. Once I was able to put my finger upon this fear, I addressed it in a personal way which seemed to bring peace to your heart.
I am most happy to report, my love, that your fingerprint is not only present within the walls and decor of Harper’s room, the peaceful abiding that accompanied your presence and especially your hugs permeates this room. Your memory and your presence is very much alive within this nursery. And I am certain, that while Harper will not see you this side of eternity, she will nonetheless know you intimately. Your legacy shall be recounted to her, your graciousness imbued to her and the knowledge of you taught to her, you are a very real part of her legacy.
Rest in peace, sweetheart, your memory and your legacy are alive and well.
All my love,
Brad