Our Precious Pam,
When I embarked upon this journey of writing you love letters I had no idea where the project would take me. I knew two things for certain: 1) you were dying and 2) I couldn’t have you living with me “walled up” or navigating this process in my head only. I knew it was necessary for me to express specifically and deliberately my thoughts and feelings to you as clearly as I was able. I had no idea the life this project would take on, but I am enriched as a result of it.
In the months that preceded your death we had many, often times divergent, conversations about my future. Most of the time you were quite vociferous that I should not be alone, should remarry and try to plan for the balance of my life. At other times you seemed resentful of that notion and even frustrated when I would say that my confidence was in providence and that I would neither look to be single nor married.
Today I am marrying our dear friend, who also is acquainted with the grief of losing her spouse. It has been my plan that on this occasion I would put a capstone on this project. That together Kathy and I would finish my final planned letter to you.
It wasn’t until I put my finger upon the crux of the matter that I could really address your greatest concern, which was simply your fear of being forgotten.
I have addressed this in previous letters, my dear, but we would like to recap them again.
Your family has donated money for a Pamela R Greer memorial at our church so that your family and friends can always be reminded of your love of children and the importance you placed upon training and educating them in Christian understanding and thought. The memorial will therefore be in the Nexgen building or where our young people gather for worship and education.
Today we will be seeing most of our grandchildren and we can report with a certainty that your imprint is very much alive within them. Hope is considering wearing a dress with bunnies on it, a reminder of your favorite pet name for them en masse.
Our family, homes, church and our individual lives are marked by your presence and we believe they will be always and forever.
In a few hours Kathy and I will marry. Does that mean that I’ve replaced you? Most certainly not!
My relationship with Kathy is special and precious, but it is different on many levels than your’s and mine, as is mine different with Kathy than Steve’s. We are amazed in hindsight that you were probably pulling for this day. Your sister and the two daughters involved were all expecting this based upon conversations they had with you. As with so many other things, even in dying, it seems you were planning for everyone else’s future.
We confess to not knowing what heaven is like, but remain certain that there awaits for the four of us a reunion unlike anything we can imagine in this life, where we stand before our Heavenly Father as individuals, true, but also united. Each having done different parts in building a kingdom plan for our families- together, as couples and as a group, to honor God.
Until we met in your beatific vision, I love you and miss you. We love you and both look forward to one day reuniting for eternity.
Brad and Kathy