Dearest Pam,
In a few days, we approach a landmark, your sister Sherry returns home. What makes this a landmark occasion is not her returning home; it’s the sequence of her return that makes it special.
(A little history for those trying to catch up to speed. Just before Thanksgiving the Galloways came to visit and to basically say goodbye to Pam during a planned 3 week stay. While here Pam’s sister Sherry, a retired RN, became an integral asset in our hospice family care team and together we began a process of assessing heath data and tweaking Pam’s drug plan under the watchful eye of our hospice doctor. Three weeks came and went.)
You may not recall this, Pam, but around Christmas the plan changed. They had planned a short return trip home around Christmas hoping then to return to help me see out your final days. At the last minute, they canceled the trip over concerns that you might not survive until their return.
We continued to plod away, mostly under Sherry’s tutelage but with occasional insights from Jim or me. Heath has made a few trips down to spend time and give us a hand, still, it is Sherry that has remained your comforting binkie or security blanket.
In a few days Sherry and Jim go home, and while that is ostensibly a good thing, it does present the topic of today’s letter.
I know, Sweetheart, that your sister’s presence is a tremendous comfort to you. Both of you had a complex relationship with your mom, so there is, quite naturally, a lot of nurturing that has gone on between you two over the years.
I also could understand some hesitation on your part about the quality of your care solely in the hands of a rank amateur. Still, all of these concerns aside, the fact that Sherry is comfortable leaving is a strong indication of how well you are doing.
It has become obvious that we have reason to believe this rally has been more than just a short term blip.
You’re stronger, more coherent and considerably more stable than you have been in many weeks. Your color and vitals remain good. Your alertness, coherence and daily habits have returned to a more normal level. You are engaged with those who surround you.
We still see that a morning of effort yields a day or two of rest, but you are able to participate with family and friends for the most part pain free. The medicines that create this pain free scenario come at a cost, you don’t drive anymore, you don’t go anywhere alone and I’m sure in many ways this cheapens the victory.
But to those of us who love you, we welcome this victory. We savor this God given time. Every day with you is precious and we hope to enjoy many more.
When the time comes that we need the help again, Sherry and Jim have said they will return. So, truly this is a bye-for-now situation and we can look forward to more fun times with the Galloways under roof again.
Meanwhile, I love this time together.
Love,
Brad