“And the people of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days. Then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended.” Deu 34:8
Today is the 31st day since Pam died. It is a day that I had purposed in my heart would mark some changes.
“Oh God, who gifted me with a good companion and who blessed the unfolding journey of our marriage through the seasons of storm and celebration, lead and comfort me, as I alone am left to acknowledge the end of our covenant (to death do we part.)”
“I know that I must now release, and be released, from what was, and reckon with what is, that I might ready my heart to receive that which is to come.” Excerpt from Every Moment Holy II
“The rings that we exchanged with our vows, which were a sign of the covenant that we kept and honored for more than fifty years, a covenant that is no more. For that grace filled season, we belonged to each other and though we shall meet again, our love grown and perfected, it will not be as man and wife.”
Today, “as I remove this ring, O Lord, I release my beloved to you. I pray she would know eternally the pure delight of your presence, and may I, for the remainder of this life, find your grace and mercies more than sufficient to sustain me.” Ibid
Our marriage and the love of Pam shall ever shape who I am and the life that I continue to live. I am the better, no the much better for her love and counsel. These I shall carry for the remainder of my days.
Today I turn my face away from the past and towards the future. The days of my mourning, I cannot declare over, but I can declare them to be of the past. When the waves of grief wash over me, I shall remember fondly the past and press on towards the future.
God grant me the grace and mercy to glorify you and enjoy you for the remainder of my days.
Brad